The Perpetual Thread of Praise!

[*XeR0x*]

There's normally an email sent round with a list of new starter names and pics but she hasn't featured in one. This hinders my stalking significantly.

[Nomad]

xerox tours - watch the pro in action, see his quarry unaware, note how she cleans, what a cute illegal she is

Originally Posted by *XeR0x*

There's normally an email sent round with a list of new starter names and pics but she hasn't featured in one. This hinders my stalking significantly.

phone cam? turn it on silent though or perhaps security cctv? act casual, a snap of the face, a pic of the boobies, 'and now the muff please' - tell her it's a uk custom or something - you know flatstalker jim, ask him for a long lense and hide in the bush, you have options!*

*if this does go wrong, no one else is liable and we will come visit you in prison

[Eja Cool8]

Originally Posted by Homer-Simpson

Man, that's the blackest drinks fridge I've ever seen. Respect

[The Scientist]

My offer on a house just got accepted! 10k under the asking price \o/

[naib]

Just had a request at work to update someone's email address after a name change by deed poll. The new name is Gay Place.

[[n00b]Zippy]

The old one must have been a shocker if that's better

[Scrobbs]

Originally Posted by The Scientist

My offer on a house just got accepted! 10k under the asking price \o/

Congrats! Where is it?

[/stalk]

[[RaG]Ethel]

I paid my mortgage off yesterday.

[[n00b]Zippy]

\o/

I reckon another year or so for us

[*XeR0x*]

I don't even have a mortgage yet

[Q-Target]

A little under 24½ years left on mine. I suspect my demise will come sooner.

[burundi]

Just looking at a new build that's into second fix now, about to take a 25 yr mortgage at 36yrs old.

[Lungboy]

I'm rich!
"Congratulations! Your e-mail has won Two Million Euros in Euro Raffle Promo Held September, 2012 in Europe.
FORWARD BELOW FOR CLAIMS;
Full Name:
Mailing Add..
Phone #...
We await your response.
Regards."

[Lungboy]

On the subject of mortgages, do we have any mortgage types as members? Could use a chat if so. Also, am I correct in thinking that Estate Agent financial advisers will all be sharks and that a properly independent chap would be the better option?

[Q-Target]

IFA ftw - they get paid whatever deal they get you but obviously some deals will net them more than others - in my experience they tend to be driven more by ethics than the estate agent whores.

[Deceased]

Agreed - we used an IFA years ago - he got us rates that weren't on the official "lists" with the providers so defo worth a chat with one.

[burundi]

I would say an IFA generally although there are some dicks out there so don't trust absolutely in what they say, always check the details yourself and do as much research as you can.

We had an IFA come round to our house when we were looking to re-mortgage a few years ago, he tried to sell us fixed rate 2 yr deals with a £1000 sign up fee trying to make out that we would be better off and we could add the fee to our mortgage so wouldn't need to find £1k, however it would have saved us less than the £1k would have cost us in outlay and interest in total over the 20 year term of the mortgage.

He was clearly in it for the commission.

We eventually went with HSBC with a fee free tracker that tracked the bank of england base rate, 1 week later the crash happened and shortly after that the BOE dropped the base rate to 0.5% and we've been paying just 1.9% interest on our mortgage since, best deal ever!

If you have a deposit to stick down that is at least 30% of the house value you can get a 3% tracker deal with HSBC for £599. That's one of the best around and we are looking ourselves due to a possible move.

Oh and finally - commission will not be paid from 2013 so financial advisors will be charging for advice, which should make it more balanced and mean you are more likely to get the best deal rather than what gives them the best commission.

[Lungboy]

I'm not in any position to get a mortgage myself at the moment (a generous rate of 4 x my current salary might let me buy an empty shoebox in a wheelie bin), but my future in-laws are looking at one. The problems are a) they live in the Netherlands so have no idea how to get a UK mortgage; b) one is retired and the other is soon to be retired. In their favour they would have a decent deposit.

[Nomad]

Originally Posted by Deceased

Agreed - we used an IFA years ago - he got us rates that weren't on the official "lists" with the providers so defo worth a chat with one.

omg, you slept with your ifa!

ifa for the win, go for one recommended to you as well and you can then compare the deals you are offered, including charges, on http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/mortgages/

[stepper]

Originally Posted by Lungboy

I'm not in any position to get a mortgage myself at the moment (a generous rate of 4 x my current salary might let me buy an empty shoebox in a wheelie bin), but my future in-laws are looking at one. The problems are a) they live in the Netherlands so have no idea how to get a UK mortgage; b) one is retired and the other is soon to be retired. In their favour they would have a decent deposit.

I used to be an MA so happy to have a chat if needs be, drop me a pm if you want to know more.

In short they should have no problem, provided they can provide details of guaranteed income (pension, investment income, rental income if they rent their current house out etc.) so they can prove they can afford the repayments on the mortgage they apply for.

The deposit counts for a huge amount - the larger the deposit the more security against the property and the more likely they are to get a mortgage - the cheaper the deal as well.

They would need to provide their credit history from Netherlands (banks/IFAs will get this themselves).

It will take longer than a UK applicant, and they will also need to give an address in the UK where they are registered - I guess yours or your Mrs. would suffice.

[Lungboy]

One thing i read about is getting a mortgage based on affordability rather than income multiplier, is that really a thing?

Also, would buy to let be an option for them? They wouldn't be living in it for a few years until her mother retires, so they'd rent it to either us or some randoms.

[stepper]

I dunno about the affordability vs income mortgage, I worked for Santander and they definitely didn't provide that when I was around, but that was almost 3 years ago now and I haven't really kept track of the market.

BTL is an option, but the deals are a hell of a lot more expensive, usually twice or even 3 times more. The set up fees often reach into the thousands as well, and they often need a much larger deposit. You could take a residential mortgage and rent it out.. but then it isn't FSA guaranteed and the home insurance will be void as well should anything happen whilst they have tenants in the property.

Their best bet is take a mortgage out, declare they are buying it for you and your mrs and you pay them informally, that way the bank is none the wiser and their insurance would still be valid as they have someone in the property most of the time.

[DEV^S]

Last day at work and off on holiday til 8th October!!!

[[RaG]Ethel]

http://www.smoothgroovecommunity.com/product/

[burundi]

I am suspicious of your googling activity there!

[[RaG]Ethel]

aye, cos I usually google for 'camel toe' at work

[Eja Cool8]

Originally Posted by burundi

I am suspicious of your googling activity there!

All this time, and you never tippled to the fact that oor Eth "enjoys dressing unusually for a man" sometimes?

[Bilb]

Originally Posted by [RaG]Ethel

http://www.smoothgroovecommunity.com/product/

ROFL ... I thought that was a piss-take product, but Superdrug is actually selling them! How vain!

[Nomad]

Originally Posted by [RaG]Ethel

http://www.smoothgroovecommunity.com/product/

ROFL ... I thought that was a piss-take product, but then Bilb ordered himself some!

[Spanks]

We are currently going through an ever annoying process of buying a house and to be honest getting the mortgage has not been our problem its cunts pulling out of selling their houses :<

My girlfriend will be renting out her property when we move in together but as said above Buy To Let mortgage arrange fees and rates are much higher as they are considered higher risk then residential mortgages. As such they also usually require a minimum of 30% equity to be even eligible.
But I do not advocate doing it on the sly. People are cracking down on this and you can break the terms of your mortgage and in extreme unlucky instances your house could be forfeit. My girlfriend is a chartered accountant and the fraud this falls under could also have stripped her professional accreditation.
However if you do it on the sly and get caught, you can try a loophole by claiming they are a lodger (basically claiming you live there too occupying a separate room with your items) but its murky waters with that.

So we went the halfway house option: get a consent to let form and inform your mortgage provider. This is a semi short term arrangement to legally rent ou your property on a 1 year rolling term or until the end of your mortgage deal is up (2,5yr etc) this is usually a nominal fee (we paid £295 with Northern Rock) – This is a slightly grey area as its up to the providers to deem who is allowed consent. Usually if you are on a residential and have 20-30% equity you are eligible but ive read and heard stories from other people that it can be less

We found most mortgage providers we looked at gave a basic 3.5 – 3.75x joint salary and then they run through with you basic allowances for daily expenses including direct debits etc – This ‘affordibility’ then knocks down your theoretical maximum borrowing. i.e. you earm 2000 a month and 1500 is taken out with expenses you will be allowed much less to borrow then taking home 2000 a month and only having 200 expenses.

One last thing to note is credit checks when getting a mortgage its advisable not doing anything that would your affect your credit rating within the same period of applying for a mortgage i.e. don’t apply for a credit card.
Also when applying don’t apply for more than 3 mortgages in a month period as this will raise flags on your credit and will adversely affect future applications.