Language rant: Railway station announcements

Jamey · 23-Sep-2004, 20:50

Well, not all of them but one in particular at my local stations.

It's the pre-recorded suspect packages annoucement, which is the same at all of Southern Railway's stations. The bit in question goes like this: "...will be removed and may be destoryed. If you see anything suspicious, please report to a member of station staff."

IT'S REPORT IT TO A MEMBER OF STAFF FFS... How hard is it to get it right? It's just two little two-letter words but you still felt the need to leave them out, changing the meaning of your sentence and bastardising the language.

Let's assume I did what they ask on the announcement. Here's how it would go:

Jamey spots suspicious bag
Jamey walks up to member of station staff
Jamey says "Hello there. Jamey Howard, reporting for duty."
Member of staff says "What?"
Jamey says "Jamey Howard... reporting for duty."
Member of staff says "Why?"
Jamey says "Because there's a suspicious package over there"
Member of staff says "Well why didn't you just say that the first time"
Jamey says "BECAUSE YOUR DUMBASS FUCKING ANNOUNCEMENT CAN'T EVEN INSTRUCT PEOPLE WHAT TO DO IN A POTENTIAL EMERGENCY"

J^MES · 23-Sep-2004, 20:54

wot station i kno u live locally

Smoo · 23-Sep-2004, 20:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by fingerz

How hard it it to get it right?

Teehee

Jamey · 23-Sep-2004, 20:56

Most of em. Purely. Kenley and East Croydon are all places where I've heard it but I'm sure Southern use it for all their stations.

Jamey · 23-Sep-2004, 20:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smoo

Quote:

Originally Posted by fingerz

How hard it it to get it right?

Teehee

Haxed.

J^MES · 23-Sep-2004, 20:58

well ther u go purley n kenley are shoddy stations im surprised they even hav announcements

blurr · 23-Sep-2004, 20:58

typical british.

[n00b].eesh. · 23-Sep-2004, 21:11

Don't live in the south.

Heartwork · 23-Sep-2004, 21:58

you should hear the announcements they make in central station here in glasgow. you don't even bother listening to them cause they're so incomprehensible. sp.
can't understand a sodding word.

Smoo · 23-Sep-2004, 21:59

"Aye, the f**kin' train to sheep sha**er land is aboot tae f**k aff" - Something like that

terroristteddy · 24-Sep-2004, 09:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by fingerz

Most of em. Purely. Kenley and East Croydon are all places where I've heard it but I'm sure Southern use it for all their stations.

same on the south coast, also southern trains

Flossie · 24-Sep-2004, 09:09

Could be worse... they might ask you to...

detrain

ARghghhghhghghghhghghgghgggghhghhghhghghghhghhghgh hghghhghghhhhhhghghhghghghghhghghhhhh....

Smoo · 24-Sep-2004, 09:43

Jamey · 24-Sep-2004, 09:48

Yeah.. I hate it when train drivers (or policemen etc) try to talk posh and end up inventing new and meaningless words.

Smoo · 24-Sep-2004, 09:48

Hey, if Bush can do it, so can they!

Jamey · 24-Sep-2004, 09:49

"I deplore these un-speak-and-spell atrocities"

blurr · 24-Sep-2004, 09:53

I take it you get problems with "one" railway announcements of trains arriving and departing...

at norwich station, they've had to stop saying "this is the one train from..." as the 'one' confused people and got it mixed up with the time?! don't ask

so now they say "this is the *pause* train from..."

Lungboy · 24-Sep-2004, 10:16

In a slightly similar vein, i was watching some crappy american version of Scrapheap Challenge, where people had to build something to turn a person into a superhero. The challenge in question was to make the bloke fly. The team descided on a hovercraft of sorts, but the presenter, in a horrible american accent, kept pronouncing it huvercraft. It was only a small thing, but he said it every 3 seconds as though hovercrafts are some sort of magical contraption, as yet not understood by science. This meant that a small thing became a massive annoyance, and i was forced to turn the program off whilst loudly shouting abuse at the stupid seppo git.

Q-Target · 24-Sep-2004, 10:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lungboy

In a slightly similar vein, i was watching some crappy american version of Scrapheap Challenge, where people had to build something to turn a person into a superhero. The challenge in question was to make the bloke fly. The team descided on a hovercraft of sorts, but the presenter, in a horrible american accent, kept pronouncing it huvercraft. It was only a small thing, but he said it every 3 seconds as though hovercrafts are some sort of magical contraption, as yet not understood by science. This meant that a small thing became a massive annoyance, and i was forced to turn the program off whilst loudly shouting abuse at the stupid seppo git.

Used to have a uni lecturer who not only could not spell "vehicle" (spelling it "vehical") but pronounced it "verical" too. Oh and he didn't say "data" properly either. It's DAY-TA not DAR-TA....prick!

Lungboy · 24-Sep-2004, 10:39

My chemistry A Level teacher was Spanish, and he used to say Strontium as Strunchum. God i hated that man. I went from being predicted an A, to not even getting an E due to his crappy lessons and awful teaching ability.

Q-Target · 24-Sep-2004, 10:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lungboy

My chemistry A Level teacher was Spanish, and he used to say Strontium as Strunchum. God i hated that man. I went from being predicted an A, to not even getting an E due to his crappy lessons and awful teaching ability.

How did you find out about the predicted A? Did he tell you? If so, he may have just pronounced the E wrong and was right on the money!

Lungboy · 24-Sep-2004, 10:52

Nah, we did a mock before our first module exam, and our predicted grade was based on the result. I got 86% in it, as i was still liking the subject due to my gcse teacher who was superb. Then Espinosa came along and destroyed it all.

Jamey · 24-Sep-2004, 11:08

Heh... Stronchum. That's so my new game name, replacing RDYTX.

Gadget · 24-Sep-2004, 17:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flossie

Could be worse... they might ask you to...

detrain

That's a real word. verb "to leave or cause to leave a railway train", noun is 'detrainment'.

I shit you not.

[n00b]Zippy · 24-Sep-2004, 17:54

I hate train announcements where they "Hope you had a pleasant jouney" as if I'm fighting my way into the London rush hour for my own pleasure >

Hotel2Tango · 24-Sep-2004, 19:37

I thought you were supposed to 'alight' from trains.

terroristteddy · 24-Sep-2004, 20:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gadget

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flossie

Could be worse... they might ask you to...

detrain

That's a real word. verb "to leave or cause to leave a railway train", noun is 'detrainment'.

I shit you not.

this man is not lying

from dictionary.com

Quote:

de·train Audio pronunciation of "detrain" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (d-trn)
intr. & tr.v. de·trained, de·train·ing, de·trains

To leave or cause to leave a railroad train.

de·trainment n.

Flossie · 25-Sep-2004, 15:08

Its

An

AMERICAN

Word!

We alight from trains and disembark from airplanes. We do not detrain or deplane on this side of the atlantic.

Fulmineus · 25-Sep-2004, 16:07

I personally 'get off' trains, planes and boats. Technical term though, doubt you lot have heard of it.

Blood God · 25-Sep-2004, 18:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fulmineus

I personally get off on trains, planes and boats.

*ahem*

23-Sep-2004, 20:50	#1
Jamey You rang? Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 21,591	Language rant: Railway station announcements Well, not all of them but one in particular at my local stations. It's the pre-recorded suspect packages annoucement, which is the same at all of Southern Railway's stations. The bit in question goes like this: "...will be removed and may be destoryed. If you see anything suspicious, please report to a member of station staff." IT'S REPORT *IT TO* A MEMBER OF STAFF FFS... How hard is it to get it right? It's just two little two-letter words but you still felt the need to leave them out, changing the meaning of your sentence and bastardising the language. Let's assume I did what they ask on the announcement. Here's how it would go: Jamey spots suspicious bag Jamey walks up to member of station staff Jamey says "Hello there. Jamey Howard, reporting for duty." Member of staff says "What?" Jamey says "Jamey Howard... reporting for duty." Member of staff says "Why?" Jamey says "Because there's a suspicious package over there" Member of staff says "Well why didn't you just say that the first time" Jamey says "BECAUSE YOUR DUMBASS FUCKING ANNOUNCEMENT CAN'T EVEN INSTRUCT PEOPLE WHAT TO DO IN A POTENTIAL EMERGENCY" __________________ L331

23-Sep-2004, 20:54	#2
J^MES reads your posts Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Croydon Posts: 4,769	wot station i kno u live locally __________________ 'I'm one of those people you hate because of genetics. It's the truth'

23-Sep-2004, 20:56	#4
Jamey You rang? Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 21,591	Most of em. Purely. Kenley and East Croydon are all places where I've heard it but I'm sure Southern use it for all their stations. __________________ L331

23-Sep-2004, 20:58	#6
J^MES reads your posts Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Croydon Posts: 4,769	well ther u go purley n kenley are shoddy stations im surprised they even hav announcements __________________ 'I'm one of those people you hate because of genetics. It's the truth'

23-Sep-2004, 20:58	#7
blurr fashion victim Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 17,704	typical british. __________________ + myembers \| + scoute.org

23-Sep-2004, 21:11	#8
[n00b].eesh. pfft Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: North Posts: 6,006	Don't live in the south.

23-Sep-2004, 21:58	#9
Heartwork Hamish McJewstein Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: guadalajara Posts: 26,744	you should hear the announcements they make in central station here in glasgow. you don't even bother listening to them cause they're so incomprehensible. sp. can't understand a sodding word. __________________ Current Song of Win: Rammstein - Roter Sand

23-Sep-2004, 21:59	#10
Smoo social life -3 geek +5 Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Somewhere so boring Solitare is the national sport Posts: 8,560	"Aye, the fkin' train to sheep shaer land is aboot tae f**k aff" - Something like that __________________ Smoo - Super Pedant by day, Asleep by night. Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them. De tik yer jerb!!

24-Sep-2004, 09:09	#12
Flossie topicophiliac Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: A green grassy field Posts: 2,156	Could be worse... they might ask you to... detrain ARghghhghhghghghhghghgghgggghhghhghhghghghhghhghgh hghghhghghhhhhhghghhghghghghhghghhhhh.... __________________ Cuius testiculos habes, habaes cardia et cerbellum --img cute-- must be smaller than 500w x 100h x 50,000b --img cute--

24-Sep-2004, 09:43	#13
Smoo social life -3 geek +5 Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Somewhere so boring Solitare is the national sport Posts: 8,560	__________________ Smoo - Super Pedant by day, Asleep by night. Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them. De tik yer jerb!!

24-Sep-2004, 09:48	#14
Jamey You rang? Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 21,591	Yeah.. I hate it when train drivers (or policemen etc) try to talk posh and end up inventing new and meaningless words. __________________ L331

24-Sep-2004, 09:48	#15
Smoo social life -3 geek +5 Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Somewhere so boring Solitare is the national sport Posts: 8,560	Hey, if Bush can do it, so can they! __________________ Smoo - Super Pedant by day, Asleep by night. Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them. De tik yer jerb!!

24-Sep-2004, 09:49	#16
Jamey You rang? Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 21,591	"I deplore these un-speak-and-spell atrocities" __________________ L331

24-Sep-2004, 09:53	#17
blurr fashion victim Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 17,704	I take it you get problems with "one" railway announcements of trains arriving and departing... at norwich station, they've had to stop saying "this is the one train from..." as the 'one' confused people and got it mixed up with the time?! don't ask so now they say "this is the pause train from..." __________________ + myembers \| + scoute.org

24-Sep-2004, 10:16	#18
Lungboy Roboplegic Wrongcock Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 12,338	In a slightly similar vein, i was watching some crappy american version of Scrapheap Challenge, where people had to build something to turn a person into a superhero. The challenge in question was to make the bloke fly. The team descided on a hovercraft of sorts, but the presenter, in a horrible american accent, kept pronouncing it huvercraft. It was only a small thing, but he said it every 3 seconds as though hovercrafts are some sort of magical contraption, as yet not understood by science. This meant that a small thing became a massive annoyance, and i was forced to turn the program off whilst loudly shouting abuse at the stupid seppo git. __________________ http://www.lungboy.dsl.pipex.com/NPO.jpg

24-Sep-2004, 10:39	#20
Lungboy Roboplegic Wrongcock Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 12,338	My chemistry A Level teacher was Spanish, and he used to say Strontium as Strunchum. God i hated that man. I went from being predicted an A, to not even getting an E due to his crappy lessons and awful teaching ability. __________________ http://www.lungboy.dsl.pipex.com/NPO.jpg

24-Sep-2004, 10:52	#22
Lungboy Roboplegic Wrongcock Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 12,338	Nah, we did a mock before our first module exam, and our predicted grade was based on the result. I got 86% in it, as i was still liking the subject due to my gcse teacher who was superb. Then Espinosa came along and destroyed it all. __________________ http://www.lungboy.dsl.pipex.com/NPO.jpg

24-Sep-2004, 11:08	#23
Jamey You rang? Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 21,591	Heh... Stronchum. That's so my new game name, replacing RDYTX. __________________ L331

24-Sep-2004, 17:54	#25
[n00b]Zippy Banned Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Great Rollright Posts: 9,393	I hate train announcements where they "Hope you had a pleasant jouney" as if I'm fighting my way into the London rush hour for my own pleasure > __________________ ["hip","hip"] (hip hip array!)

24-Sep-2004, 19:37	#26
Hotel2Tango my post count gets me dates Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 4,056	I thought you were supposed to 'alight' from trains. __________________ Dismantle Mars! Keep it Peel. Hotel2Tango, [o]Weaver, Jome Finky [o]Kryptic Korps, #[o]Korps

25-Sep-2004, 15:08	#28
Flossie topicophiliac Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: A green grassy field Posts: 2,156	Its An AMERICAN Word! We alight from trains and disembark from airplanes. We do not detrain or deplane on this side of the atlantic. __________________ Cuius testiculos habes, habaes cardia et cerbellum --img cute-- must be smaller than 500w x 100h x 50,000b --img cute--

25-Sep-2004, 16:07	#29
Fulmineus karma killer Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Colchester Posts: 13,978	I personally 'get off' trains, planes and boats. Technical term though, doubt you lot have heard of it. __________________ belua vasta, lupus! udisque paludibus exit, oblitus et spumis et sparsus sanguine rictus, fulmineus, rubra suffusus lumina flamma. Say NO! to capital t Sponsored by AQA