The number of things we learn from watching movies

[stepper]

1. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

2. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her.

3. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

4. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

5. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to
any other part of the building without difficulty.

6. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

7. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.

8. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

9. When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the
exact fare.

10. If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by 15cm.

11. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to
eat them. The Mother will not be upset by this.

12. Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.

13. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.

14. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

15. All single women have a cat.

16. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

17. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.

18. Creepy music coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.

19. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings - especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.

20. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you
one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor.

21. During a very emotional confrontation, instead of facing the person you are speaking to, it is customary to stand behind them and talk to
their back.

22. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

23. Dogs always know who's bad and will naturally bark at them.

24. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

25. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley
systems, deadly gases, lasers and man eating sharks that will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

26. Having a job of any kind will make all fathers forget their son's eighth birthday.

27. Many musical instruments - especially wind instruments and accordions - can be played without moving the fingers.

28. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

29. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

30. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

31. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

[Smoo]

Heh, moderately funny.

[Homer-Simpson]

So true

[[n00b].eesh.]

Did anyone watch the mythbusters special where they did all the hollywood myths?

[Minty]

Originally Posted by stepper

28. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

And can only be disarmed with one second or less to go

[BBW]

32. All American cars screech when moving off or stopping, regardless of their speed.

33. In horror films, you must be shocked at least 5 times by harmless things such as cats or birds before a really scary thing appears.

34. Serial killers always keep masses of evidence in their homes such as pictures of the victims.

35. Every oriental man is a martial arts expert.

[T3CH^]

36. Never attack a small, old, balding asian man, witha little smile on his face, as he will kick your ass all over the shop.

[danred5]

37. No matter how fast you run away from an enemy, they will always be right behind you. Even if they have no legs or run as fast has the asthmatic fat kid at school.

[Cam]

38.soft metal slugs will always blow open locks without a ricochet
39.if your a teenager after sex you must investage the creepy cellar and come back find your partner dead then be brutally murdered before you can recover from the shock

[Cam]

40.every car that does a stunt jump over a bridge thats out or between large gaps suddenly have strenghted axels and will never ever crash

[Heartwork]

41. If the police are chasing you, they'll never catch you.

[assassin]

Originally Posted by Minty

And can only be disarmed with one second or less to go

Except for that James Bond one when it had 007 seconds left...

[BBW]

42. Even though a bad guy has been shot 5 times and batterered by the good guy he will still have enough strength left in him 5 minutes later to grab the good guys ankle.

[golgo 13]

43. A simple karate chop to the back of the neck will knock out an enemy.

44. Silenced guns are always silent and gunpower does not create any smell that the bad guys can detect.

45. All guns have infinite ammo until meeting the main bad guy.

[Spazwankle]

46. A phone conversation never ends with a "goodbye", you must simply hang up the phone.

47. During a finale, captured villains must be given the opportunity to try for one more attack. This will give the hero the excuse needed to kill them dead.

[Spazwankle]

48. If a clean cut friend is telling you how much he loves his family, or showing you pictures of his wife, he has 30 minutes or less to live.

[Q-Target]

49. Everyone lives in the 555 dialing code area
50. All alleyways in big cities have stacks of plain cardboard boxes and at least 3 aluminium trash cans filled with light rubbish and are invariably one car wide, except for the cross-section where a garbage truck waits to pull out after a car has gone past at speed

[danred5]

51. Balloons. Popping. Will. Always. Be. Mistaken. For. Gunshots.

[Cam]

52,in westerns saying "im going up on the roof" really means get my coffin ready

[danred5]

53. Herbie rides again.

[Cam]

54.if your watching a movie with Bill paxton be suprised if he survies the whole movie ...........

[golgo 13]

55. Blackmen always die.
56. Blackmen always feature last in opening credits.

[Cam]

56.in Space Explosions can be heard defying all laws of physics

[Spazwankle]

57. It is frowned upon to travel in pairs/groups. You must explore alone.

[danred5]

57.Beanz means heinz.

58. If stranded in the jungle/desert/frozen tundra, when you are close to deaths door, a native will always find and nurse you back to health.

[danred5]

lol, the numbers..won't somebody think of the numbers!!

[rip]

59. All car doors are bullet-proof and can withstand shots from high-powered rifles.

[danred5]

60. In every car chase, you will run over, or nearly run over a woman pushing a pram, even at night. Invariably, it's a tramp pushing their belongings.

[T3CH^]

61. female leads in horror films will. by the last reel, be half naked and smeared in a substance (usually blood)

[Heartwork]

62. Despite a lack of oxygen, things can blow up and burn in space.