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Old 24-Sep-2015, 12:07   #22651
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Boys I'd advocate an escalation of violence and take the suspension

Girls I'd suggest the formulation of evil rumours to spread about the bullies to break their social power

note I'd be a terrible parent
yes the last option there is probably correct.

but thanks anyway. personally I've love to get a phone call from the school saying she'd rearranged the individuals face.

Only "problem" is at the moment that this person has whipped up support from some cronies so there isn't a "campaign" as such but it's not far off that - and this person and at least one other = their parents are teachers at other schools (and we all know teachers look after each other)....

Having said this though - the school does have a duty of care towards its pupils and failing to deal with a bully is failing their duty of care as well so in theory, we should be able to turn this around.

If not, i'll might just buy a punch bag and get my daughter practicing...
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Old 24-Sep-2015, 13:48   #22652
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I'm dreading having to deal with this (my little girl is only coming up 4), I have no idea in which way I'll handle it.

One thing though, do you know what the parents of the bullies are like? Might they be approachable for a quiet word rather than getting the school involved?
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Old 24-Sep-2015, 15:23   #22653
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What if that kid's doing it to a number of other kids too though, the only way for the school to know is if people talk to them and let them know. I also think most parents get defensive when you go direct to them and doubt it works out well in most cases.
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Old 24-Sep-2015, 15:25   #22654
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We know where the parents live and have spoken to them in the past - our home area is fairly close knit (town is only around 18-20K in it) and many of the parent/toddler group attendees see each other at the schools etc in the years to come.

This particular girl used to be friends early on with my daughter but then she started to changing all of a sudden and became a different person towards her. As the years have gone one (all 2 of them), the incidents of bullying have been slowly stepping up a notch.

It's been primarily physiological more than anything (referred to my daughter as "she's a bitch" in front of the class when the teacher was out for a second. Lots of girls who my daughter associates with suddenly "switching" to this other person. People coming up to my daughter and asking her if she "likes" the other girl. This girl also quite openly makes exaggerated looks of dislike towards my daughter apparently.

It appears to us as though this "group" (which for some reason seems to have a percentage of my daughters friends in it) have taken it upon themselves to "knit pick" when they can.

This week however things have started getting physical - on at least one occasion the main protagonist has "shoulder shoved" passed my daughter in the corridor. It stands to reason that this means everything has geared up a notch or two so we need to stop this right now.

The evil genius's parents are teachers in another school. I'd like to think that if we approached them (and they certainly are approachable - ish), they'd be as horrified as I would be to hear if my daughter was doing the same. When I say they are approachable, we've had a few pleasant conversations with them over the years in school playgrounds and outside school when families have bumped into each other but, this will be different as some pretty heavy accusations are going in their direction so who knows.

Teachers as we all know also stick together so I wouldn't be surprised if the parents play that card as well even though they are from a different school ie. "my daughter would never do that - come on, I know how to spot a bully and I can tell you thats most definitely not happening here".

Now, I'm fully prepared to accept that this entire situation could have some form of "flip" side in that my daughter might not be the innocent party she is claiming to be. However, she has for over 9 months now said she didn't like school and could she switch to another, but when pushed for the reasons it was always, the school, the teachers, the lessons - the whole thing. We suspected it was this girl as her activities started in primary school just before they left to join high school so we've always been trying to coax out of our daughter just what it is and this morning she confirmed it.
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Old 24-Sep-2015, 15:28   #22655
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What if that kid's doing it to a number of other kids too though, the only way for the school to know is if people talk to them and let them know. I also think most parents get defensive when you go direct to them and doubt it works out well in most cases.
Yeah i've been reading that by and large it pretty much makes things worse. I wouldn't be surprised if they claimed our daughter was doing the bullying but I honestly believe she isn't. Pretty hard to maintain a consistent "act" and story for over a year...
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Old 24-Sep-2015, 15:43   #22656
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We had a mum contact us with veiled threats claiming that our daughter had hit her girl (pretty sure she didn't, she's tiny, soft and a total nerd where as the other girl's a bit feisty and much bigger). We just assured her we'd deal with it and actually said to our kid to just be wary of the other girl as the whole family's a bit nutty and that it was a valuable life lesson.

Not looking forward having to deal with it the other way around.
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Old 24-Sep-2015, 15:51   #22657
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We know where the parents live and have spoken to them in the past - our home area is fairly close knit (town is only around 18-20K in it) and many of the parent/toddler group attendees see each other at the schools etc in the years to come.

This particular girl used to be friends early on with my daughter but then she started to changing all of a sudden and became a different person towards her. As the years have gone one (all 2 of them), the incidents of bullying have been slowly stepping up a notch.

It's been primarily physiological more than anything (referred to my daughter as "she's a bitch" in front of the class when the teacher was out for a second. Lots of girls who my daughter associates with suddenly "switching" to this other person. People coming up to my daughter and asking her if she "likes" the other girl. This girl also quite openly makes exaggerated looks of dislike towards my daughter apparently.

It appears to us as though this "group" (which for some reason seems to have a percentage of my daughters friends in it) have taken it upon themselves to "knit pick" when they can.

This week however things have started getting physical - on at least one occasion the main protagonist has "shoulder shoved" passed my daughter in the corridor. It stands to reason that this means everything has geared up a notch or two so we need to stop this right now.

The evil genius's parents are teachers in another school. I'd like to think that if we approached them (and they certainly are approachable - ish), they'd be as horrified as I would be to hear if my daughter was doing the same. When I say they are approachable, we've had a few pleasant conversations with them over the years in school playgrounds and outside school when families have bumped into each other but, this will be different as some pretty heavy accusations are going in their direction so who knows.

Teachers as we all know also stick together so I wouldn't be surprised if the parents play that card as well even though they are from a different school ie. "my daughter would never do that - come on, I know how to spot a bully and I can tell you thats most definitely not happening here".

Now, I'm fully prepared to accept that this entire situation could have some form of "flip" side in that my daughter might not be the innocent party she is claiming to be. However, she has for over 9 months now said she didn't like school and could she switch to another, but when pushed for the reasons it was always, the school, the teachers, the lessons - the whole thing. We suspected it was this girl as her activities started in primary school just before they left to join high school so we've always been trying to coax out of our daughter just what it is and this morning she confirmed it.
Honestly doesn't sound like 'proper' bullying yet, school can be horribly harsh. Even so if the teachers are made aware of this they can keep more of an eye out for it. You might want to frame it as your daughter's not enjoying school and may be struggling with friend relationships etc. ? Softly softly
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Old 24-Sep-2015, 15:56   #22658
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Honestly doesn't sound like 'proper' bullying yet, school can be horribly harsh. Even so if the teachers are made aware of this they can keep more of an eye out for it. You might want to frame it as your daughter's not enjoying school and may be struggling with friend relationships etc. ? Softly softly
That sounds like a good approach.
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Old 24-Sep-2015, 15:59   #22659
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Bullying is, in my experience, a lot to do with the repercussions. People get picked on because they're "weak" or in a weak position. The bully knows nothing's going to happen to them so they do it. Get her doing some martial arts or something and have her whack the bully one if she gets physical.

I was a pretty socially awkward kid and I got bullied a bit; but nowhere near as much as I maybe could have because I was quite willing to give someone a beating if they kept it up.
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Old 24-Sep-2015, 16:04   #22660
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That sounds like a good approach.
My thoughts exactly.

I don't want to go in all guns blazing and its partly for this reason that we've not really "pushed" her for the reasons why she didn't like school - kids (especially girls - or maybe its just this area ) switch friends all the time, unlike boys.

As you said, I think perhaps the best approach is for the school to keep a very close eye on this and "hopefully" catch the culprits in the act. That way they can read them the riot act and my daughter doesn't look like she's gone snitching (though in reality, for some people thats all they can do - not everyone has the confidence to tackle their own problems)
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Old 24-Sep-2015, 17:12   #22661
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Go have words with the kid yourself, tell her bluntly it ends now or it will be taken further.
If she doesnt listen goto her parents then school.

I wouldnt expect much from the parents as noone likes to admit their kids do any wrong, just make them aware and hopefully it will change.

School on the other hand different matter, If they are arsey or obstructive in any way threaten them with the school governor (have his/her name and info at hand so they know you have looked) and local education authority.
It should already be on school record that this is happening so it should be plenty to go at.

Failing all that, stick the head on the little cunt. Hate bullies
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Old 24-Sep-2015, 17:30   #22662
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Oh i'm fully prepared for all out war, but before i bring out the heavy guns I'd rather we sort it with minimal fuss.
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Old 24-Sep-2015, 18:51   #22663
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I wouldn't speak to the bully directly, especially without their parents being there. That would just open a whole can of worms.

Go through the official channels and as Blunteh pointed out, do the softly approach without naming names or finger pointing.

You really have to feel for kids these days, a lot tougher and more psychological what with Social Media and the internet etc. Back in our days all we had to be worried about was a beating after school!
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Old 24-Sep-2015, 20:45   #22664
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Not quite on the same scale as the above, but....... my mouse just broke. Overpriced piece of Razer shite, dont think its even 12 month old.
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Old 24-Sep-2015, 21:00   #22665
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MX518 here. Prolly 8 years old at least now. Still going strong. Was 50 quid at the time, thought it was a lot. It seems not.


Although I've probably done it now.
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Old 24-Sep-2015, 21:05   #22666
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MX518 here. Prolly 8 years old at least now. Still going strong. Was 50 quid at the time, thought it was a lot. It seems not.


Although I've probably done it now.
Aye loved my old 518, just ordered a G502. Supposed to be similar size and shape etc.

Using Cons FK2 for the time being, they arnt bad tbh, little bit small for my liking but decent enough.
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Old 24-Sep-2015, 21:18   #22667
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Old 25-Sep-2015, 00:03   #22668
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Regarding teachers sticking together. That's cobblers. When I was a teacher, I had no idea which kids parents were teachers and wouldn't treat them differently if I did. I would expect a teacher's kids to be better behaved so would actually raise the bar for expected behaviour.
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Old 25-Sep-2015, 00:07   #22669
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Says the teacher, while covering for teachers.

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Old 25-Sep-2015, 00:14   #22670
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Heh. I've been out of the game for 15 years. I was bullied.
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Old 25-Sep-2015, 00:58   #22671
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Was that when you were up in Colchester? Or did I make that up?
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Old 25-Sep-2015, 01:15   #22672
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Yup. Nope.
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Old 25-Sep-2015, 08:25   #22673
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Go have words with the kid yourself, tell her bluntly it ends now or it will be taken further.
If she doesnt listen goto her parents then school.

I wouldnt expect much from the parents as noone likes to admit their kids do any wrong, just make them aware and hopefully it will change.

School on the other hand different matter, If they are arsey or obstructive in any way threaten them with the school governor (have his/her name and info at hand so they know you have looked) and local education authority.
It should already be on school record that this is happening so it should be plenty to go at.

Failing all that, stick the head on the little cunt. Hate bullies
If someone approaches my child directly out of school I'll contact the school and the police without any hesitation. No adult has any place threatening my child with anything (outside of the controlled environment of a school with at least some checks and balances in place, and even then they should contact me and have me handle the situation).

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Old 25-Sep-2015, 08:41   #22674
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MX518 here. Prolly 8 years old at least now. Still going strong. Was 50 quid at the time, thought it was a lot. It seems not.


Although I've probably done it now.
Snap That's my work mouse and seems pretty indestructible.
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Old 25-Sep-2015, 09:07   #22675
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Aye loved my old 518, just ordered a G502. Supposed to be similar size and shape etc.

Using Cons FK2 for the time being, they arnt bad tbh, little bit small for my liking but decent enough.
I've you'd told me I would've let you have a Roccat mouse I got for free with my PC two years ago.. Haven't used it as I love my G5 and it's just sitting in my cupboard doing nothing.
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Old 25-Sep-2015, 10:20   #22676
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he calls it Crusty, left handed clicker model
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Old 28-Sep-2015, 09:53   #22677
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cocks. If you dont like it, dont go there, if other people are happy to pay for it, then let them. Complete and utter twats. how was this business harming them?

http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2...ion-protesters
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Old 28-Sep-2015, 09:58   #22678
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Maybe if they weren't selling overpriced, fetishised bowls of breakfast to indulgent manchildren whilst half the borough can't afford a roof over their own heads less people would want to burn them.

Loving the way the owner of the idiot place suggests attacking pret instead because they're a more successfully overpriced food shop.
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Old 28-Sep-2015, 10:02   #22679
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Agreed, but then those people doing the rioting are highly likely to be rioting for the sake of it, rather than trying to make any discernible point.
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Old 28-Sep-2015, 10:16   #22680
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An easy, common and usually entirely self-serving assumption. Not to say it's not true for some individuals but there's a lot of people there. Let's not throw the worthy baby out with the wannabe bathwater. History will gladly confirm that this sort of protest is not going anywhere whilst the wealth divide continues to increase. indeed I suspect London will be seen as a barometer for such events in the coming years.
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