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Old 13-May-2008, 12:20   #91
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Originally Posted by Norfolk'n'Clue View Post
No, they just can't read.
I saw one of the chimps drinking what I think was Ribena out of a coffee cup with one of those plastic covers that you sip through. He brought it up to his mouth and managed to pour half the cup into the keyboard as he hadn't actually pushed the cap on at all. He looked down and soaked up most of the spillage with a napkin before pulling the keyboard over the remaining puddle and carrying on. The following day I had to get a tech in to swap out the keyboard as the space bar was stuck in a puddle of congealed ribena.
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Old 13-May-2008, 12:20   #92
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Surely you have added an extra step into that? In excel, can't you just click the cell and press delete? At least my problem was slightly more advanced than that.
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Old 13-May-2008, 12:21   #93
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I think she wanted to delete the cell itself, not the content. But it was in word anyway so it's a completely different process. Go on then, what was your problem? You know that between Eth and Myself we've got Excel pretty much tied up.
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Old 13-May-2008, 12:23   #94
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Ah i see. My problem involved incorrect positioning of $ signs. To my shame, it was solved by a ginger gurl.
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Old 13-May-2008, 12:25   #95
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I presume you mean with regard to absolute referencing? The shortcut key is F4 for that btw, it cycles through the 4 settings (lock horizontal and vertical, lock horizontal, lock vertical, lock neither) - obviously you have to click within the reference in the formula bar but it saves all the faffing about with shift and 4.
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Old 13-May-2008, 12:26   #96
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Women. With there vaginas and boobies. All of them, anywhere, ever.
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Old 13-May-2008, 12:27   #97
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their.

Oh and I'll save you the bother:

"QT and his persistent corrections to spelling and grammar...it's not a fucking literary work ffs!"
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Old 13-May-2008, 12:27   #98
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I was trying to divide a big grid of cells by a single cell, but couldn't get the single cell to stay put, as i had the $ on either side of the cell location like with brackets, whereas they need to be infront of both column letter and row number.
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Old 13-May-2008, 12:30   #99
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Don't...The dizzy cow was banging on about deleting cells in excel and how she couldn't work out how it was done. I talked her through it...highlight...edit...delete...etc and she was like "I can't see those options in the menu" in the end I gave up with the phone call and went to her desk whereupon I found she was editing a table in Word. ffs retire already!
"What version of Office are you using"... "er.. I think it's Windows. XP, I think"

*bangs head

My rant:
Users who don't have a clue about anything, and blindly use applications without using common sense, or seeing beyond a few instructions they've been given.
Case in point with a user yesterday, with me trying to find out some FTP details:
I ask: "What user account do you connect to the FTP site with"
They respond: "It's the ACE FTP shortcut on my desktop. Other than that I'm not sure"
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Old 13-May-2008, 12:30   #100
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I was trying to divide a big grid of cells by a single cell, but couldn't get the single cell to stay put, as i had the $ on either side of the cell location like with brackets, whereas they need to be infront of both column letter and row number.
Yup. Absolute referencing - F4 is your buddy, friend.
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Old 13-May-2008, 12:41   #101
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Ooh this isn't so much a rant as a perplexing scenario. A twat who works here, who referred to me in an all staff meeting recently as "qualified to a certain degree" despite not actually having the slightest inkling of how many certificates I hold in any subject whatsoever, just came into my office with a bit of paper:

Him: "John, one word answer, I've just been given this to send out by bulk email and I've been told to ask you whether this bottom line should be bold, underlined or asterisked"
Me: "Erm...does it make a difference?"
Him: "I don't know why I've been told to ask you, I think asterisks."
Me: "Bold."
Him: "Ok"
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Old 13-May-2008, 12:52   #102
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Another vote for useless project managers. Turn up late, can't organise fuck all, so now I'm going to have to work till 7.
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Old 13-May-2008, 13:03   #103
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Losing my job to A local Plymouth MP's son has pretty much boiled my piss. I had the contract for servicing the submarine entrance docks at Plymouth naval base, it's about 6 months work. I then get a phone call saying that the MOD have decided to let the job go out to tender to see if they can get a lower price. Only one other person see's that contract offer and that is the son of the local MP. What makes it so fucking suspicious is the fact that his company is only 2 months old and his father who is like a leper in a pie factory is also on the board of director's to this new company.

After pulling in a few favours I finally got the contracts manager to show me the price they had submitted and its around 10% more expensive than mine WTF
Boiled your piss - mines evapourated and it doesn't even effect me!

Oh man...

Oh by the way - FOI requests - aint as "simple" as you might think. The organisation concerned can legally refuse if they deem the timescale to provide info is unreaslistic/workable and even then, they can decide which pieces of info you are entitled to.

I'd tell em you know how much the other contract was and your gonna go public and get the local rag on the case - you've lost the job anyway so may as well make em squirm (you never no, you may get something out of court....)
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Old 13-May-2008, 13:09   #104
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Not blaming the council, or the darkies, what i'm saying is firstly considering every new person who comes into this country gets loads of benefits and help from the government, then when my gf loses her job we are instantly forgotten about, theres almost no support for us, i'd understand if i were earning a comfortable wage but I'm not, i thought we'd get some support but instead they're going to be looking at evicting us because we simply cannot pay our bills.

As for my girlfriends "lack of qualifications" it's not her fault she was born into a shit family where at the age of 16 they were automatically trying to force her out into her own place, they were attacking her to the point where her nose was almost broken, she had to hold down a job while trying to get through a levels until she eventually couldn't go on anymore and ended up finally at the age of 17 finally getting her own place and having to quit school to have enough money to run a place on her own... so yeah i guess she's one of those that sits around watching Jeremy Kyle.

That really pisses me off actually, like we're spongers she worked 6 days a week for the past 2 years probably harder than most people, so please don't say condescending things like that.
I should probably answer properly rather than my earlier sarcastic reply.

I never said you were spongers Stuie, but there are basically 2 types of people. Those that blame everyone else/the system/immigrants/etc. for their lot in life and those that take it upon themselves. I've got friends from nice backgrounds who live pretty shit lives who fall into the former....

I've also got friends who are the opposite. One example, 2 lads who's dad fucked off at an early age and whose mum was mental. They got themselves through school whilst also caring for themselves and their mum. Both have good jobs (vocational), one's was a nurse (last time I heard) and the other had worked his way up from being a labourer in a shipyard to aparently living a gifted playboy type existance in the canaries larking about on sailing boats.... It's all about your attitude and whether you grab life by the horns or not. I've never heard either of them moan about their childhood lot in life.

I'm not saying it's easy.

I've only got 5 GCSE's myself. Like other people have mentioned there are agencies. I found myself out of work once and couldn't find a job due to lack of qualifications and a shoddy work history, so I worked through an agency (manpower) and basically took anything that came along. I've done umpteen factory jobs, night work, etc. Jobs that I hated but I needed to do them as my young wife at the time was in college so wasn't bringing in any money (for most of them it was an advantage to not think as they were so mind numbingly boring). Eventually through doing loads of shitty jobs I found an opportunity and went for it. Then another opportunity eventually came up from working hard at the one I'd found, then another, then another. I think I've been lucky, but the important thing is I've made my luck. I know plenty of people who could have had the same breaks but didn't put themselves in the position to realise them.

That's one of the reasons immigrants do often do well, they don;t waste anytime looking for scapegoats for their situation, they just get on and work harder, save harder etc. The ones on benefits are by far the minority.
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Old 13-May-2008, 13:12   #105
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Sounds worse than an anal fistula that!
You leave my fistula out of it!
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Old 13-May-2008, 13:12   #106
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The ones on benefits are by far the minority.
I think I'd describe as an infinitesimal minority given that they aren't entitlted to most benefits for several years
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Old 13-May-2008, 13:13   #107
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Losing my job to A local Plymouth MP's son ...
I'd also like to put in a vote for exposing this sort of corruption - hell I'd consider it your civic duty!
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Old 13-May-2008, 13:13   #108
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Hmmm - well here's a list of rant.

1) Cunts who park in Parent and Kid spaces and who obviously have no kids (I'm now giving serious consideration to keeping a tube of superglue on me and putting a liberal coating on the door handles of the next car I see do this!) - the spaces are wide for a fucking reason damnit!

2) old twats who for reasons known only to themselves, stop dead right in and block the entrance to, the supermarket - presumably to work out, well actually I've not a clue but bloody hell! - move!

3) indecisive people

4) People who use roundabouts without indicating

5) Getting to the checkout to pay and finding that 4000 people have the same idea and the supermarket has only one (two at best) isles open and both cashiers are still trying to work out how to use the sodding till.
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Old 13-May-2008, 13:19   #109
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The office war over airconditioning, the drama over this is truely WTF.
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Old 13-May-2008, 13:19   #110
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I've been round the large Tescos near where I live and filled the trolley with a week's worth of shopping only to find that only one till was working and even then it was only accepting cash. Upon seeing the queue of some 40 people I elected to abandon my near full trolley in the middle of the aisle and let some of the twenty or so non-working till operators reshelve the fucking stuff.

That's a back-dated rant btw...happened about 6 months ago.
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Old 13-May-2008, 13:20   #111
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The office war over airconditioning, the drama over this is truely WTF.
You have air-conditioning? I have a window and a fan.
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Old 13-May-2008, 13:22   #112
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I've been round the large Tescos near where I live and filled the trolley with a week's worth of shopping only to find that only one till was working and even then it was only accepting cash. Upon seeing the queue of some 40 people I elected to abandon my near full trolley in the middle of the aisle and let some of the twenty or so non-working till operators reshelve the fucking stuff.

That's a back-dated rant btw...happened about 6 months ago.
Too right - couldn't agree more.

Did something similar myself a while back though it was only a baskets worth - just said out loud the customer service was shocking, put the basket down on the floor and walked out.
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Old 13-May-2008, 13:22   #113
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You lucky fucker. I'd kill for having a window that opens.
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Old 13-May-2008, 13:26   #114
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The MoD may be able to argue that disclosure would be prejudicial to commercial interests but there are pretty strong guidelines on ensuring that the public interest is served by ensuring it gets value for money. Ultimately you won't find out unless you ask.
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Old 13-May-2008, 13:28   #115
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Just cut out the investigation and give it to the Sun, mail, express or the news of the world and let them do the leg work.
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Old 13-May-2008, 13:31   #116
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Incidently, revealing the price on a contract is considered a lot less commercially sensitive once the contract has been awarded. I think there's a fairly strong case to be made for revealing the price and why the MoD made the decision it did.
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Old 13-May-2008, 13:33   #117
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Aye, could do what Leady says as well...
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Old 13-May-2008, 13:37   #118
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I'm lazy and thats why vitrolic tabloids exist
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Old 13-May-2008, 13:38   #119
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You lucky fucker. I'd kill for having a window that opens.


HI THERE.
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Old 13-May-2008, 13:39   #120
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You lucky fucker. I'd kill for having a window that opens.
You have windows? :o We have windows here but they only go to other offices in the building
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Originally Posted by Jamey
We had a fight and Kirk won. He beat me to a pulp and I cried... I cried like a little bitch because I'm so gay.
Quote:
You call that breaking my spine?! You red team ladies wouldn't know how to break a spi *snap* *crash* ARGH MY SPINE!!!
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